Auditioning

I have been auditioning and performing for 10 years now. Some auditions require prepared monologues, some have a brief cutting from the piece to read and others have you read scenes with other hopefuls. I have auditioned for roles that I would kill to get, ones that I knew I had no chance at and ones that I didn't care whether I got the part or not. The one thing that ties these all together is, no matter what, I am always nervous to audition.

You would think that after so much time and so many auditions, it would be just like second nature to me. But no, my stomach starts to turn, I over analyze how I look and how I should speak and then once I get to the audition, I immediately start sizing up the competition. It's sickening. Instead of being a fun experience doing what I love to do, it turns into a stressful, maddening episode. You put yourself out there - you're completely vulnerable and you give it all you got and pray that you didn't make an ass of yourself.

And then of course comes the waiting. Waiting to see if you got a call back and then if you were cast. The rule is to audition and forget about it. That way, if you end up being cast it's great, and if not, you forgot about it, so who cares. I have only successfully accomplished this once in my entire life. Your subconscious is always aware that there is a director out there judging your skills and your confidence takes a hit for every minute they don't call you. If there was ever 1 reason why a lot of actors are ca-razy, it has to be all the agony of the casting process. And then us actors do it all over again for the next role and the next. We are seriously insane.