Boobs. That's right. Boobs.

Well, it was only a matter of time until I did a post about boobs. After all, they've been such a large part of my life since I was 10 years old. Yup, 10. I have no idea why God thought a 10 year old needed or wanted boobs. Especially one that was already a foot taller than her classmates and really didn't need anything else to make her stick out and was a competitive soccer player, which meant lots of running. But, there I was in 4th grade receiving training from a bra. Little did I know then, these sacks of fat (attractive huh?) would keep growing until I was about 20. Now, I know some women would kill for larger breasts and some pay thousands of dollars for them and I should be grateful for what I have. Well, screw that, I like to complain. So here are my thoughts on my boobs:

• My Rack is a Pain in the Back. I have had constant back pain since I was about 16 years old. I can't sit in the same position for more than 10 minutes because no matter how I sit, my back starts to ache. Sleeping is a tossing and turning event because my back just can't seem to get comfortable.
• What a Slouch! My boobs weigh me down, therefore giving horrible posture. I am certain that I will one day develop a hump on my back because I slouch forward so much. It's so unattractive, but my back is just not strong enough to sit up straight all day long.
• Buttons: Boobs' natural enemy. Button up shirts and I don't get along. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part if the shirt fits me perfect in the shoulders, arms and torso, but has buttons, you can bet that those buttons are holding on for dear life across my bust.
• Sag Bags. I honestly don't know what it will take (short of plastic surgery) to get some lift! I have been fitted by some of the best lingerie stores in town and whipped out close to $100 for a single bra that was supposed to perk me up. But still my "fun bags" weigh the dang bra down. Sometimes I feel like I should carry a portable table with me just so they have something to rest on besides my belly button.
• Running: A Contact Sport. Unless my boobs are duct taped to my chest, running is pretty much out of the question for fear that I might suffer a concussion.
• Over The Shoulder Boulder Holders. Finding bras that fit is a constant battle. The majority of stores don't carry anything close to my size. So, I have to go to speciality shops or high-end retail stores. Even then, they only have a few styles to choose from and mostly they aren't very flattering. Often, they have to go in the back to find a bra my size. And then I usually don't like the cut or I'm not willing to pay $150 for it that day. Oh, and don't even get me started on strapless bras.
• Top Heavy. I have recently lost some weight - of course, I lost it everywhere but my boobs. So now, I look even more disproportionate. My legs and stomach have thinned out but yet I still have these 2 huge masses atop my chest. It's not hot, it's odd and I feel like no matter how much weight I lose my boobs will always make me look (and feel!) much larger than I am.

So what should I do about all this? Nothing, duh. I just like to complain.