Backstage to Centerstage: A Dirty Rotten Retrospective

This past Saturday, we had the 10th and final performance of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I’ve blogged about the show from the auditions, so it’s only fitting that I wrap things up with one final blog. Below is a quick (ok, really damn long and boring) summary of my leading lady experience and some little backstage stories and mishaps because who doesn’t like bloopers?!

A Night in the Life of Christine Colgate

Actors are required to arrive at the theatre an hour before showtime. But let’s back up, first it takes me about an hour to curl my hair, do my make-up, and squeeze into panty hose and spanx at home. Ugh, I really loathe curling my hair because it takes forever and no matter how much hairspray I use, my hair has gone flat by intermission. Grr. Then, we hit the road and it takes roughly 30 minutes to get to Longmont. So even though the call time is 630pm for evening performances, my preparation starts at 445pm.

Evan and I show up, sign the call sheet, and I start preparing. The first thing I do is take my final costume and set it up in the stairwell to the light booth in the lobby. Then, I go about setting my props. I don’t have many, but I’m kind of OCD and I have to check them about 5 times to ensure that they are actually where I think they are. After that, I place my costumes on stage (well, in a hallway) as all my costume changes are super fast and take place just behind a curtain. They have to be in the proper order with buttons, zippers and belts un-done for easy changing. I then check these about 5 more times before curtain.

  

Now it’s time for vocal warm-ups. To this day, I have no idea what the complete lyrics are to the Oscar Mayer theme song (it was a common warm-up finale). Must be my aversion to bologna.

  

Next...I do nothing for about 30 minutes. Since my hair and make-up are already done, I just hang out and do nothing until curtain. Once we are underway, I help move a bench on and off stage, but that is all I do for the 40 minutes after the show starts. Then, during one of the big numbers when everyone else is on stage and not in the dressing room, I go and change into costume. And then…I sit for another 20 minutes.

Finally, FINALLY, after about 40 minutes into the first act, it is time for Christine’s grand entrance. I stand in the wings, trying really hard to not be nervous…and not to be seen by the audience through the awful sightlines. “She’s here!” And that’s my cue and away we go. One tiny line and then starts the song with which I have a problematic past. After huffing and puffing through the song, smacking people way harder than I was supposed to (Christine and Linda are quite clumsy), the song is done and I’m in full show mode. No more nerves, all business.

  

After another song, one I can actually sing(!), it is time for intermission. At this point, I relax even further. All my songs in Act II are duets or little interjections here and there – the hard stuff is done. Well, except for the 3 really fast costume changes. Thank goodness I had the help of a cast mate because they would have been impossible otherwise. Some more songs, a tango, fake crying, and then comes my favorite part. The part that I’ve been keeping secret from all of you that don’t know the show. SPOILER ALERT: It is revealed that I am the Jackal and have managed to con $50,000 from the best two conmen in the French Riviera. It’s quite empowering actually. :) Sometimes I was even applauded as I dashed out of the theatre with my briefcase full of money. By far, my favorite part of the show.

 

Then I come back with a whole new persona and all three of us dirty rotten scoundrels are reunited for the finale. By this point my hair is flat, I’m sweating through my panty hose, my make-up is pretty much all sweated off, and there’s a sense of accomplishment that we made it through another show.

  

All in all, playing Christine was fun! It was also time-consuming, stressful, challenging, and at times, terrifying. I’m glad that I auditioned, I’m glad I got the part, and I’m glad to be done. Lots of people will jump from show to show, but I will be taking a break. It had been 3 years since I last performed on stage, and it may very well be that long again. It’s hard work! In the meantime, I will be seeing lots of fabulous shows and getting my theatre fix from the audience. Phew! All done…and now…

Tales from the Wings:

• Every night while waiting for the show to start, a few of us would be huddled in the stage left entry way (right by the band). The overture starts with a big bang/pop/drum hit/whatever, and every night, without fail, I would have a heart attack and jump on that first beat.
• There are several crosses by hotel staff during the course of the play. Each time they are carrying something interesting. One night, an actress was scooting a large clothes steamer across the stage when the top popped off and water went everywhere. Luckily, another actress was passing by and just magically happened to be carrying a roll of paper towels. Divine intervention.
• Acting in the dark is really fun, you should try it sometime. We did, several times, but most notably on Industry Night when the light board decided to stop working. Some scenes were totally in the dark and others had light coming off and on and I started playing a game called “try to run into the light before it goes off.”
• What does Beauty and the Beast have to do with Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? Nothing, except this most awesome video we viewed one day in the dressing room. Hey girl!
• Boob money. Sadly, I never got to have any.
• You see that weird piece of foam with green painted sea-shells glued to it? Oh, that’s escargot. No, really, it looks great.
• What’s that? You can’t hear us? Oh you mean, you can't hear 1 person singing over a 9 piece band? Oh, you can’t hear us over the extremely loud scene changes? Well, shut up, we’re creating theatrical magic here people!
• Finally, you know you have one heck of a funny show when the biggest laugh of night is a re-written joke about Fort Collins.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: 6 Performances Down, 4 to Go

Tonight is Industry Night. Theatres starting doing industry nights on Mondays to attract other theatre/industry folks who are busy doing their own shows on the weekends, but are free on weeknights. However, with people so busy with rehearsals, performing in their on industry nights on the same day, or just busy with life in general, attendance on Industry Night can be a bit light. But the great thing about Industry Night is that sometimes a crowd of 15 “theatre people” can out-laugh and out-applaud an audience of 200.

Let’s be honest, one of the biggest draws, if not THE biggest, to doing live theatre is the immediate feedback of an audience. Yeah yeah, actors like to develop characters and delve into the complicated nuances of a play, but really, we do it to entertain people. An audience can have a huge impact on a performance depending on how they react. It’s not supposed to - we are supposed to give the same great show every night regardless - but when an audience is falling into the aisles with laughter, you can’t help milking the really funny bits or pumping up things here and there because you know they will love it.

Conversely, a timid and unresponsive audience makes an actor wonder what the heck he or she is doing wrong. So we might deliver a line differently to test the waters, but usually it doesn’t help. Or we just feel like the show is dragging and cross our fingers that at the curtain call, the audience really did enjoy the show, but were afraid to audibly express it.

No matter whether the audience is quiet or raucous, really, we are all just super excited that they showed up in the first place! Without an audience, well there wouldn’t be much theatre happening. Not only because community theatres depend on the generosity of their patrons to stay afloat, but because without an audience, we might as well just be singing into our hairbrushes in front of a mirror. I am deeply appreciative to all my friends and family that have taken time out of their busy schedules to come and support me and what I do. It means a great deal to me and I can’t ever fully express my gratitude. I know it’s not cheap to come to the theatre and it takes time and planning. Yet, many of you have come to every show I’ve ever been in and some of you come multiple times. You are all amazing and I thank you for your continuous love and support!

Opening Night!!

The time has finally come, here we are, opening night of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.  What started out as a dirty rotten audition nearly 11 weeks ago is now a full-fledged piece of musical comedy artistry. The set is painted, the lights are beaming, the band is jammin', the costumes are sparkling, and a cast of 19 is poised to take the stage.  This past week was long and arduous and amidst the feelings of "damn, this is a butt-ton of work" there is an energy in the air. We are ready to entertain you!

Our director spoke to us last night about how musical theatre is this magical thing that exists no where else. Where else do you get to burst into song in the middle of a conversation, or start dancing with a group of people who all know the same steps? When is it ever appropriate to sing a song about "fresh shaved testicles on Christmas Day" or "playing naked Twister" or "praying you look good in shorts."  Ok, well maybe I sing about the last one each time summer rolls around. You get swept away in the absurdness of it all and find that you get to do all this crazy stuff on stage and it is totally acceptable.  Oh, and people come and watch and laugh and clap for you. It's pretty freaking amazing.

I'm glad that I get to partake in such a wonderful bit of magic. It's fulfilling to be surrounded by people who are not only wickedly talented, but also so dedicated and committed to making something great. Will it be perfect? Probably not.  Will it be entertaining? You bet your ass it will. So buy a dang ticket already and come watch us perform a bit of magic for you. And if magic isn't your thing, well then, come for all the hot chicks that are in the show.

Hey look, that's me!

CitySolve Urban Race Denver - 2012

This past Saturday, Evan, Megan, and I once again participated in the CitySolve Urban Race Denver. You may remember that we did this same race last year and our team, The Flux Capacitors, placed 57th out of 310 teams. CitySolve Urban Race is a scavenger hunt race all around downtown Denver. You must solve clues that lead you to different locations around the city and you are only allowed to walk/run and take the bus (no bikes, skateboards, cars, taxis, etc.). 

After last year's race, I was so sore that I could barely walk for several days.  So in preparation for this year...uh, I didn't do anything different. Well, the night before I stretched extensively and then I stretched again the next morning.  Then, about 15 minutes before the race started, I took 2 advil and hoped for the best.

Since we had done the race before, we had an idea of what to expect from the clues. We knew that they like to have people go to places with interesting names and places that are easy to write questions about.  Since I now work downtown, I was making mental notes of every interesting sounding restaurant and bar that I drove by. We also researched the 5280 best restaurants/bar list to try to commit to memory as many places as we could.

At noon, the first clue gets unfurled at Stoney's Bar and Grill (11th and Lincoln) to give us the first checkpoint.

It's hard to read from this picture, but it says: "Which actor was born in Denver?"
>>I don't remember what the other multiple choice answers were, but once I saw "Tim Allen," I knew that was it. After each multiple choice answer there was a location.  That's where you go to get the packet of 10 clues to solve and start the race. The Tim Allen location was at 14th and Broadway, Civic Center Park.
Note: Last year, the first place was at the Capitol. We knew the first clue has to be a place where lots of people can gather and sit and solve the other 10 clues. So I was thinking it would be Civic Center Park and that just confirmed that Tim Allen was the correct answer.

So, we ran (yes, RAN!) from Stoney's to Civic Center Park, grabbed the clue packet, found a bench, and got to work. We started figuring out the clues and quickly discovered that 200 people all in the same place, accessing the same internet was bogging down everyone's service.  It was extremely frustrating! It took 15 minutes for one page to load. Grrr!! Anyway, we had most of the clues figured out and just decided that the ones we still had to look up could wait till we were on our way and got better cell service.

Here was our route:

Q4: Are these really cheaper? Unscramble the following words, and identify the serving size they often share.  Add one to that number get the Avenue this checkpoint is located on.  You'll find your destination on the 200 block, with the help of the numerical theme.  Words: SHOTMN, SOERS, GESG, SELGAB, ROJSUR, SUNDOT.

>>After "MONTHS" and "ROSES", I knew the answer was dozen and the place was Dozens Cafe.  Oddly enough, this was one of the places I drove by and thought, "I'm gonna remember this place just in case it's one of the clues." Ta da!  Dozens on 13th was our first checkpoint.

Q8: Now that's what I call music. The Dave Matthews Band and The Counting Crows have songs with the same celestial body in the title.  Find a pub near Grant and E Colfax whose name shares the subject of the song.

>>We didn't really know what this one was.  But we knew Grant and Colfax was nearby so we figured we would just go there and find it.  And we did: Satellite Bar.

Q10: Go directly to jail, do not pass go...This checkpoint is a cafe at the intersection of two streets. 1) One street is known for a railroad sandwiched between a block of magenta properties and a block of orange properties. 2) The cross street is a numbered Eastern Avenue.  To find this correct avenue, you must know how many spaces needed to travel on the Monopoly board - starting on GO - to get to New York Avenue. When you find this locale, locate the Yelp staff and they'll take you through a fun activity.

>> Megan knew the railroad was Pennsylvania so at least we could start there. I was trying to find a monopoly board picture on my phone, but it was taking 500 years. So I had to look this up while we were walking to the Satellite Bar.  Finally, it came up and the answer to the second part of the question was 19 - So 19th and Pennsylvania was our next stop (a place I drive by everyday). It was a coffee shop and once we got there, we had to find a menu item that was inspired by a cookie.  We found that it was snickerdoodle, told the Yelp person, got our picture taken and away we went.

Q2: Mural mural on the wall...Find this public art, it's located very close to a lounge whose name is the logo on the helmet of Peyton Manning's former team. (It gave a picture of the mural).

>>Ok, so of course we knew immediately that it was a horseshoe.  Last year, we had trouble finding the Horseshoe Lounge, but thought that had to be it again.  And that lounge was right by the coffee shop above.  We literally turned the corner and the mural was right there.  Hooray!

Q7: You're beautiful...People Magazine recently came out with its Most Beautiful issue, but CitySolve ain't gonna make you find Beyonce. Instead, you'll need to find things CitySolve thinks is beautiful..FOOD! Find someone taking a bite of a cupcake, taco, or donut. The person must be a non-racer.

>>We thought we were gonna skip this one as our free skip.  But one of the other clues (VooDoo Comedy Club) was kind of far out from all the other clues, so we decided to skip that one instead.  Luckily, we decided this just as we were passing a convenient store.  We rushed inside and asked the clerk if he'd be willing to eat a donut for us (after we purchased it of course).  He was a little confused, but he agreed.  We bought a pack of donuts and he took a bite. Just as we were taking this photo, a few other teams came in and probably had the same idea.  We were glad we got there first because this guy probably had to start turning people down as the day went on.

Q9: You call that a range....This checkpoint is a shop where you can find home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play. You may also remember the name from a 1980 Gonzo bio-pic. You'll find this checkpoint on 16th Street.

>>I was kinda clueless about this one, but Megan thought pretty quickly of the store, Where the Buffalo Roam. After some quick searching of the 1980 movie hint, we confirmed that was right.

Q5: Everything's better down where it's wetter...Solve the poem below.  You'll find it on Champa Street. Poem: Once mistook for manatees, they rose up from the sea. Investing wealth from Disney fame, begot this bakery.

>>Duh..the little mermaid.  Evan searched Mermaid Bakery and bam the next checkpoint was easy to find.

Q3: Hold the anchovies...This checkpoint will take you just about as far up the 16th st mall as you can go without walking into the river. To find the block number, multiply Julius Thomas's jersey by Wilin Rosario's jersey. You're looking for a place that might make a clover cobbler and a rabbit's foot pizza.  When you arrive, you'll meet the official charity and they will take you through a challenge.

>>This one really confused us. We knew we were headed to north 16th street mall, but could not think of what pizza place this was referencing. We tried searching menus and even called a few places to see if they made clover cobbler.  Nothing was coming up.  Then, as we were walking to the 3rd checkpoint, it dawned on me- we were being too literal. Clover and rabbit's foot were both good luck charms...it had to do something with luck or lucky.  Then it hit me Lucky Pie!! I knew there was one in Louisville, so Evan searched it and they also had a location on 16th street. Woohoo!  We got there and the "challenge" was to donate $5 to the charity.  Good thing we had cash...



Q1: Why isn't there a queen of beers? To find this checkpoint, fill in the following clues. Then, unscramble the parenthesized letters to spell the name of a thematic destination located 1/3 mile of Coors Field.

-Source of bitterness in brewing H(O)PS

-Home of Coors: G(O)LDE(N)

-Amber Lager brewed by Coors: (I didn't know this one)

-Not Bottled by on _____: TA(P)

-2 hydrogen + 1 oxygen: (W)ATER

-Fermentation ingredient: (Y)EAST

>>So I had the letters OON?PWY. I didn't need the "K" to know this was Wynkoop.

And that's it!! We were done!! Now all we had to do was take the 16th street bus back up to Civic Center Park and make our way back to the finish line at Stoney's. We kept checking and double checking our list to make sure we didn't forget a clue (other than our 1 intentional skip). And we didn't, we were done! Once we got off the bus, we ran a little to get to Stoney's and ended up beating one other group by a few seconds.

They marked down our time and we go inside to get our photos checked.  We notice that there are not too many teams hanging about the restaurant. We start thinking that maybe we are one of the first few finishers. The top 3 teams win prizes and the top 25 teams earn entry into the national race in Miami in November. The results were posted yesterday...with a time of 1 hour 38 minutes and 41 seconds....we placed 14th!!!!! There were 130 teams this year. We are stoked!!

Whether or not we will actually do the Miami race is yet to be determined. And maybe the best part of the whole thing is that I felt great afterward! No soreness, no blisters, nothing.  (Well, the next day my foot started hurting really badly, but on Saturday I was fine!) It's important to note that the checkpoints were much closer together than last year and we didn't lose time trying to find a clue. Overall, a super success and another fun day running around Denver!

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: 2.5 Weeks To Go!

We are now 2.5 weeks away from opening night of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Holy. Shit. We still have about half of Act II to block and then comes a lot of clean-up work and tightening up of scenes. Oh and then there’s that whole memorization of lines thing….uh…about that…I can positively say that I have Act I totally memorized! Full disclosure: I’m only in 3 scenes in Act I. There are still a lot of technical things to be completed and figured out, but somehow it will all magically come together by opening night. And if you see a flat that is still painted white, well then we totally meant for it to be that way. :)


So what is a blog without some personal revelation? Ok here goes. I’m struggling. I’m sad to write that, but it’s true. To be more specific, I’m struggling with just one song. Probably the most important song my character sings and I fuck it up far more times than I do it correctly. My voice cracks, I can’t find a single note in the right key, and I’m so out of shape that I can’t walk two steps and sing without becoming completely short of breath.

I’ve been worried about this song from day one, but I thought with continual practice I would eventually get better. Plus, I thought once we blocked and choreographed the song, it would all come together and I would magically sound perfect. Nope, it’s just not happening. And I’m pissed off and depressed about it. I want so badly to be spectacular at this song, but I’m so terrified I will completely humiliate myself that I am literally sick to my stomach. The REALLY annoying part is that I know this damn song. I have sung it hundreds of times and I probably hum it in my sleep. There is absolutely no reason I should be doing so poorly. I’m not writing this to gain sympathy or to fish for some form of positive reinforcement. I’m hoping that by putting it all out there, I will kick myself into shape and perform the dang song like I know I can. I need to convince myself to pull it together and rise to the occasion because I’ll be damned if I’ll let all my friends and family come to the show just to watch me make a fool of myself!

UGH! Ok, now that that’s done, let’s talk about the good stuff. What I can tell you about the show is that it is going to be A-MAH-ZING! Yes, even if I totally screw up my song, the rest of the show is so good that it won’t even matter. I mean it’s really freaking good. And hysterical. I’ve heard these songs and listened to these scenes for weeks now and I still find myself laughing out loud because it’s just that funny. The whole entire cast is fantastic, the choreography is complex and compelling, the music is beyond fun, and Pat’s direction is simply divine. So please plan on coming!! Here’s a link to the facebook event with all the details. See you there!

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: 3 Weeks Down, 6.5 to Go

So, here I am at the beginning of the 4th week of rehearsals for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Up to this point, we have been primarily practicing music and last week introduced a bit of dance. The next two weeks will be all choreography with a few music rehearsals for principles tossed in. Then, it’s finally time to get down to the blocking and acting portion of the show. I’ve kinda been in denial that I actually have to memorize lines. Isn’t singing and dancing enough? No, apparently audiences want plot and character development too. Jerks.

The music in this show is exciting, but it is super high and complex. The poor baritones and tenors are hanging out in the rafters with the sopranos and most of the leads’ songs  span three octaves and contain at least one key change. Oh and let’s not forget about the thousands of tongue-twisting lyrics, plus the myriad of ohs, ahs, ba das, titty tit tits (yeah, you heard me) that the ensemble sings in every song. It all comes together to make an awesome show, but it is difficult stuff, especially for this trying-to-fake-my-way-through musician.

So it’s a little hard to tell you about the music and not have you hear some of it. So, go here and you will see a music player on the right hand of the screen. This will play a short sample from each song of the show. Hopefully, hearing some of the music will start to make you as excited about this show as I am! It’s gonna be pretty spectacular, so you should go ahead and buy tickets right now.

One Dirty Rotten Audition

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Speaking of random Sound of Music lyrics, SOM was the last musical I did where I had a substantial singing role – the role of Maria. That was my senior year of high school, exactly 10 years ago this month. Since then, I’ve only done 1 musical (Grease, Frenchy) and didn’t have any solos or anything real complicated to perform. I have only done straight comedies and dramas since then. I haven’t even auditioned for a musical since Grease in 2006.


Several years ago, I was streaming the show tunes channel on some internet radio station at work (yes, I’m a nerd who totally listens to show tunes all the time). The song, “Here I Am,” from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels came on and I instantly loved it. At the time, I knew nothing about the musical, I just happened to like the tune. I made Evan download it to his ipod so I could sing along with it from time to time.

Last year or so, when Longmont Theatre Company announced their new season, I noticed that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was on the list and thought, “Hey! That’s the musical with that one song I like.” This is the musical version of the 1988 movie starring Steve Martin and Michael Caine. DRS premiered on Broadway in 2005 and it may very well be the first time it has been performed by a non-professional theatre in the Denver/Boulder region. I’m totally guessing at that, but I don’t think I’ve seen anyone performing that around town in recent years. I was planning on auditioning for it for some time because, after some research, I determined that the show sounded really fun. Needless to say, I sang “Here I Am” far too much in the months leading up to auditions. The song is sung by the female lead of the show, Christine Colgate.

Fast forward to two weekends ago, when I actually auditioned for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I prepared “What You Want” from Legally Blonde the Musical. (Side note: If you haven’t seen this musical, buy a ticket to the Arvada Center’s production this summer. Legally Blonde is a giant, pink, glittery ball of fun!) I know this song inside and out because I have been singing along to the CD for years now. I practiced a lot and thought I was aptly prepared for my audition…if it wasn’t for those pesky things called nerves. Singing makes me INCREDIBLY nervous. I love to sing, but I am acutely aware that I am not the greatest singer and I know that my nerves always have embarrassing effects on my vocal chords.

So there I was in a (freaking freezing) room ready to audition. A few people go before me and they are all outstanding! I finally muster up the courage, hand the music to the musical director, slate (give my name and title of the song, for you non-actor folks)…and start to sing. Ugh, here come the nerves in full force! I rush my tempo, can’t decide if I should be singing in chest voice or head voice, my voice cracks and I’m pretty sure I go out of tune on the whole last measure. But, the one good thing I can say about my audition is that I barreled my way through. I didn’t stop or get completely screwed up, and that’s saying a lot for me!

I take a seat and watch everybody else do their audition. I’m not exaggerating when I say that every single person who auditioned was PHENOMENAL. I truly enjoyed listening to them all and thought to myself, “Gee, I hope I’m somehow good enough to make it into the chorus because this show is gonna rock if all these people are in it.” After the singing was over, we got to do some dancing and that was a lot of fun. I was surprised at how well I could pick up the steps seeing as how it has been years since I’ve done any dancing on stage as well.

By some miracle of miracles, I get called back. The evening between auditions and callbacks is spent practicing songs for callbacks for hours. I’m excited for callbacks, but also very nervous again. At least with callbacks, you get to do some reading and if there is one thing I can actually do in this audition, it is act! We do the singing first. I do much better at callbacks than I did at auditions and I finally tell myself to get with the program, stop being nervous, and sing these songs loud and proud. For the most part I do. The songs are all high and belty so it can be a bit taxing, but I sang my heart out. Then we did some reading, which was, of course, my favorite part and something I’m not at all nervous to do. The music in this show is so stinking good, that I was really looking forward to being in the ensemble. The director also mentioned that the each ensemble member will play like 10 parts, so how cool would that be?

Callbacks were over and now comes the waiting. Waiting: The absolute worst word in an actor’s vocabulary. The rest of Sunday goes by without a word. Monday drags on without a peep. Then it is Tuesday…nothing until about 7:30pm.

The phone, that magical bringer or intense joy or grief, rings and the number is unknown. I know this is it and I’m dying to find out whether or not I made it into the ensemble. I pick up and it’s the show’s producer, “… we’d like to offer you the part of Christine.” I don’t remember clearly what my response was exactly, but I think it was something along the lines of, “Holy crap! Christine? ME?! Are you kidding?!” At this point, I am over-the-moon ecstatic and pants-crapping terrified at the same time. I am so overjoyed to be playing this part and completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I’ll have to do to prepare the role.

Time to dust off those vocal chords, stretch out the jazz hands, and get ready to step into the spotlight. Luckily, I don’t have to do it alone. My lovely husband, Ev-face, will be playing numerous roles in the ensemble and will undoubtedly steal every scene he is in. Rehearsals start this week and away we go! Mark your calendars now for May 11-26 and plan to come see this fabulous show!