Linda Picks the Emmy Winners

Well here they are, my Emmy picks for this year.  Watch on Sunday to see how I did.

Comedy Series
Modern Family!

I still don’t honestly know how Glee won this last year.  Modern Family is WAY better than Glee on so, so many levels.  I’ve watched the first half of the season of Glee and while I like the music (sometimes) everything else around it is crap.  Modern Family is quality comedy through and through and they better walk away with the Emmy this year.

Drama Series
Mad Men

Ok this one is tough.  We’ve been mad about Mad Men for a while now and I still rather like it, but recently we’ve started watching Dexter on netflix and I kinda love it.  It’s pretty smart and suspenseful.  However, since I haven’t watched all of this season yet to make a fair judgment, I’m giving the Emmy to Mad Men.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy:
Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock

This one I’m not sure about.  Usually I can gush over Alec or Steve Carrell, but they didn’t stand out to me last season and I haven’t seen the other nominees in work.  So, I’ll just go with Alec.  Will Schuester from Glee will probably get it, but that’s stupid.

Outstanding Lead Actress Comedy
Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation
I can’t believe I’m not picking my girlfriend, Tina Fey.  I love her! But I gotta hand it to Amy Poehler this year.  I wasn’t much of a Parks and Rec fan when it first started, but now she has me rolling!

Outstanding Lead Actor Drama
Michael C Hall - Dexter
What can I say, I’m riding the Dexter train now. Besides I have had enough with Don Draper (John Hamm) and his man-whoreness on Mad Men. J

Outstanding Lead Actress Drama
Dunno...Julliane Marguiles – The Good Wife

I have no feelings about this category at all, so let’s go with Julliane, ok?  Ok.

Supporting Actor Comedy
Ty Burnell – Modern Family

He is HILARIOUS!!  Seriously one of the funniest characters and actors on tv.

Supporting Actor Drama
Terry O’Quinn! - LOST
If you don’t know what a Locke Face is, then you obviously didn’t watch the last season of LOST.  He was awesome!

Supporting Actress Comedy
Jane Lynch? - Glee

Darn, another one without a passionate opinion.  I think Jane Lynch’s character on Glee is kinda one-dimensional for her, but I love her from the Christopher Guest movies, so why not.

Supporting Actress Drama
Christina Hendricks – Mad Men

I’m giving this to Christina Hendricks because again, I don’t have a clear opinion in this category and I’m all about supporting this beautiful, busty babe.  Gotta love Joan!

How California is Trying to Kill Us

So I've started to believe that the state of CA is really trying to kill us.  From dreadful lines at the DMV to hours spent in traffic and smog that chokes the entire city, LA just doesn't get high marks in terms of health. In addition to all that crap, we've discovered that our bodies are certainly taking tolls in other ways.

First, my skin is trying to escape from my body - particularly on my face. I've never really had an acne problem.  I would get a pimple here and there on occasion, but never experienced anything near a "break out."  Until the month we moved to CA. Ever since November, my skin has been waging war on my face, in particular, on my chin.  I have had constant break outs in the 10 months we've been and have tried everything to stop them. I have tried rose hip oil, vitamin E cream, scrubbed and washed my face till it was raw and now I'm using Pro-active. Some would say it's stress related, but anyone who knows me knows that I've been stressed all my life and haven't been more stressed here.  It's also not my diet since that has remained pretty constant as well.  Could be hormonal, but I think I'll just blame California.

Next, sudden allergies! Again, I have never had allergies. I'm not allergic to pets, or foods or even the change in seasons.  This all changed about 2 months ago when I suppose summer started in LA.  It's pretty summery all the time here, but I guess something decided to bloom that made me completely congested.  The second I opened a window, I would notice that I couldn't breathe anymore.  I had to live with nasal spray by my bedside and in my purse just so I could breathe.  My allergies have since subsided a bit, but I still notice on occasion that I can't breathe through my nose or that I'm coughing for no reason.

Finally, our stomachs are more than upset, they are mad as hell. Evan and I have both experienced pretty severe stomach issues since we've moved.  We both were poisoned, we believe by cereal, a few months ago.  Body aches and several trips to the bathroom were the norm for about a week.  Most recently, Evan was violently ill from another bout of food poisoning from a company lunch.  I have never seen him so sick.  And now, I was awoken last night with awful, painful indigestion of some sort.  I'm almost doubled over, but I'm still at work.  In the 10 years that we have been together, we've maybe gotten ill like this a total of 5 times between the 2 of us.  And now in the last 10 months, we've gotten sick at least 4 times (combined).  Something is definitely going on with the food supply in this state.

So far we've survived, but what the heck?! Clearly our bodies are having a harder time adjusting than we are.  Let's just hope that this is the worst of it.  

Les Auditions

Evan told me that I should do a blog with quick descriptions of the different types of auditions I've been on. I responded with, "Well I haven't been on enough to fill a whole blog post." To which Evan responded, "Pft." So that's how this blog post was born!

The No-Dialogue Pantomime Audition:
One of the very first auditions I went on here in Cali was for a student film at some college in Oxnard.  The script for the film was actually really interesting which is saying something for a student film.  There was no dialogue in the short film, just music while you watched a bitter housewife make a poisonous cake for her cheating husband.  So, at the audition, since there was no lines to read, we had to pantomime all the stages of baking a cake and general house-wifery.  So I mixed batter, put the cake in the oven, folded clothes, cleaned house and smoked a cigarette (at the request of the director). She had a few props to use, but essentially I was just miming everything. I did it twice and that was it.

The TLC Audition:
What I consider my first "real" LA audition was for a TLC show called "Born on a Bad Day."  For this particular audition I was given the scenario before hand and was expected to improv a scene based off of that.  This was pretty easy, I'm pretty good at natural improv when given a complete scenario...obviously.  Anyway, I sign in, wait to be called, give my headshot and resume, slate and begin my little scene.  Easy peasy and a lot of fun.  However, the casting office kinda smelled like cat pee.

The Wait a Monologue? Really? Audition
I auditioned for a pilot where they requested a comedic monologue.  I dunno why exactly, but I find this odd.  Usually projects have sides or scenarios to act out, but to have someone do a completely unrelated monologue was just weird - they also didn't film it which I find a bit unprofessional as well.   I presume they didn't have their act together enough to produce sides and didn't know enough about the project to give a scenario to improv to.  Anyhoo, I have an old stand-by monologue that I do that's pretty funny.  Anyway, off I went and did my thing and then we discussed improv - they asked if I do it and I said yup and they said great.  O...k...

The Inappropriate Improv Audition
I auditioned for a webseries about bad dates.  The audition was improved because that was the premise of the webseries.  So there was "bad date Ben" and I was the unsuspecting blind date.  There were 2 girls that went before I did and I could hear the scenario and their reactions through the door.  Well, let's just say that bad date Ben liked younger women....or shall I say girls...and that was the premise of the bad date.  Anyway, I heard both of the girls take the easy route and react as a normal person would, so I decided that if my scenario was the same as theirs that I should do something different just to not fall into the same traps they did.  I got the same scene and I probably came across as too aggressive and bitchy for the situation and it wasn't really that funny (because of course pedophilia is always a huge laugh fest), but hey at least I was different.

The Official Commercial Audition
I recently auditioned for a DirecTV commercial and it was my my favorite thus far.  Except for the fact that it was in Santa Monica which is a bitch to get to from Burbank, the actual audition was fun.  It was a doubles improv.  We were paired up - a guy and girl - and given a situation to improv.  We were a couple moving in with each other and wanted to get our DirecTV hooked up right away.  My guy was fun to work off of and I think we did a great job.  I was invited to this audition by the casting director so that made it feel a little more comfortable.  There were a gajillion people there, but I didn't have to wait long and the whole thing went really smoothly. 

So that's about it I guess.  I'm pretty sure I forgot a few, but these were biggest and most memorable ones anyway.  So if you ever wondered what the heck I've been doing with my time this is it...well a small, small fraction of my time anyway. :)

It's the 4th of July! Well, close enough.

I LOVE the 4th of July.  It ranks right up there with Christmas and Halloween for me.  Warm weather, BBQs, family, and fireworks!  Growing up, it was always so hard to wait for it to get dark to start blowing things up.  My brother and sister and I would be outside with the sparklers at 6 o'clock swearing it was gonna get dark any second.  Before kids started blowing off their hands and ruining it for the rest of us, we'd light of our bag of fireworks in front of the house.  Neighbors would come out and watch and light their own as well.  A whole street full of roman candles was always quite a sight. 

It has been a standing tradition for me to go see the fireworks with my dad.  In fact, I think I still have the blanket in my trunk that would only be used once a year for watching fireworks.  My dad and I (and eventually Evan) always watched the Northglenn fireworks show.  It was close by and we had a system nailed down. We would park in the RTD parking lot on the other side of the highway and then walk over to EB Rains Park, blanket in hand.  We would wind our way through the crowd and always find a good spot by the lake with a pretty close view of the fireworks. 

Northglenn always, always, always shoots off their fireworks late.  For some reason they insist on waiting until Westminster and Thornton (who's shows you can see from afar) finish their shows before starting their own - even though they were always scheduled for 9pm.  Anyway, we'd watch the fireworks gleefully anticipating the grand finale and when it was all over we'd say how great it was and how they started late, but finished strong and walk back to the car.

Needless to say, this year I won't be able to participate in this tradition.  So I went looking for fireworks shows around the valley.  Burbank is having a show at their Starlight Bowl where a concert will be taking place before hand.  And in typical California fashion, it costs money to see the concert and to park, of course.  In fact, nearly all the fireworks shows charge admission!  Combine that with the nightmare of finding parking and fighting huge crowds, the 4th of July has lost its luster here in CA.  We might try to find a place to park and watch the fireworks from a distance, but because it's so hard to find free parking, we don't know how successful we will be.  I'm a little sad at the situation and wish I could be in CO right now, but luckily next weekend we are headed down to Sea World for our anniversary and they have a nightly fireworks show. 

I hope you all have a fun and safe Independence Day! Hooray for the USA!

Dad On Arrival

I know the economy is bad, but I think it's time to start paying our greeting card writers a little better in order to motivate them to put out better work.  I was recently in the market for Father's Day and birthday cards and was extremely disappointed with the quality of greeting cards available to me.  I'm not the type that buys the sentimental, sappy cards decorated with pastel flowers telling the recipient what a special and beautiful soul they have -  those cards are already in their own special "crap" category.  Conversely, I go for the funny, simple and sometimes offensive cards that accurately represent the recipient or the situation. 

So as I was saying, Evan and I were looking for Father's Day cards and a birthday card for my brother-in-law.  First, we checked out our grocery store while we were doing our weekly shopping.  The selection was small and hugely un-funny.  We picked up several cards hoping to be impressed, but we were nearly offended at the lack of wit and originality.  Assuming it was just the small selection at the grocery store that was the problem, off to Hallmark we went. 

Hallmark has a pretty large section dedicated to Father's Day so our hopes were high.  After glancing through the section I wasn't even inspired to pick up a card to read it.  I knew by looking at the 1/4 of the card cover that sticks out above the row under it that these cards were going to be craptacular as well.  In addition to being boring, most of the cards usually fall into 3 different Father's Day themes: 1) Tools 2) Golf and 3) Butt cracks.  Sometimes one of these themes will yield a slightly witty card, but not this year. 

There is also a new fad in greeting cards called "cards with sound."  Or as I like to call it, "Writers ran out of funny card ideas years ago so they are relying on music to do the trick."  Well, I'm sorry, I just don't think my dad would be that impressed with a card that sings "Shake Your Booty."  But the cards I like the most are the ones that allow you to record your own message.  They are admitting that they can't sell any cards worth a damn, so they are just telling you to do it yourself and charging you a pretty penny to do so.  Brilliant!

Needless to say, we walked out of Hallmark empty handed.  Luckily, there is a cool little shop in Burbank that sells the Selfish Kitty line of greeting cards.  I love these cards, but after several birthdays and other events, I'm running out of options with this somewhat small card line.  This line of cards has great greetings such as:

• Happy Birthday, you bastard! (inside -->) Seriously, though. You really are a bastard.
• Happy Birthday.  I'll see you in hell.  (inside -->) You heard me.
• Congrats on the new baby! (inside -->) And remember, teaching him cuss words is only fun for a little while.

And the list goes on.  Now this is the humor I love!  However, I think after Father's Day and many birthdays, I have exhausted most of my options and will have to turn to the mainstream greeting card lines.  Writers need to start getting funny again or I am going to be forced to make my own cards.  And I'm simply not that good at drawing butt cracks.

Out and About in SoCal

As a recent transplant to Southern California, I get asked a lot about what kind of things have I seen and where have I been.  People want to ensure that I get the full California experience, so they are always suggesting places to go and things to see.  Many of you may be curious just what we've done while we've lived here and others may not give a crap. Well here is a blog about it anyway, so deal with it.

Universal Studios: I kinda like Universal Studios, but it is absolutely not worth the $75 to get in.  Plus you have to pay like $15 for parking.  Anyhoo, I go for the studio tour mainly, but some of the rides are fun.  You're usually done with the park within about 2 hours, but hey it's really close to where we live.

Hollywood - Walk of Fame, Chinese Theatre, Freaks:  Yes, you have to go at least once and that's about all you need for the rest of your life.  It's cool to see, but it is crowded with tourists and filled with all sorts of crazies!  People dressed up as comic book characters, cartoon characters, hollywood icons and some people just dressed up like weirdos.  You can smell the desperation mixed in with car exhaust,  sunscreen and BO. 

Hollywood Bus Tour:  The one we went on was pretty lame.  I don't even remember one cool thing that we saw.  The highlight of the tour was the El Pollo Loco where Brad Pitt once worked as a chicken.  Seriously.  The tour was crappy, but hey at least someone else was driving.

Griffith Park:  I like Griffith Park.  It's free and has the best views of the city.  However, a gazillion people are there everyday so you have to park 2 miles down the mountain and hike up to the observatory.  You do have a pretty good view of the Hollywood sign, though.

Sony Studios Tour:  Ok, so we took this tour on a trip to LA several years ago, but I think it's worth a mention.  I LOVED this tour!  I don't remember the price, but I think it was pretty reasonable.  Not many people know about this tour, so we only had like 6 of us in the tour group.  This is a walking tour around Sony Studios.  Because our group was small, our tour guide snuck us in to several working sound stages and other places not typically seen on the tour.  It was awesome.

Warner Brothers Studio Tour:  This one was kinda pricey, but I think we got a pretty good value for our money.  Also, it's right by our house so we had to go.  This is a mix between a tram and walking tour and you see a lot of stuff including just about all of their back lots.  We even got to get out and explore some of the houses on the back lot and that was really cool.

Beverly Hills/Rodeo Drive:  Meh. It's fancy and I guess that's cool, but clearly I can't afford anything there, so it's not that fun. Oh and there aren't any public bathrooms!! UGH!  There is a Crumbs Cupcake shop, so that may be worth the trip.

The Jay Leno Show/Tonight Show:  We've been several times cause it's really easy to get free tickets.  However, you do have to wait in line for at least 2 hours and if you get there late you may not be seated.  Anyway, it's neat to see and if you're lucky to go on a night with a really cool star, then it's definitely worth it.  I do think Conan is WAY better still...

Santa Monica Pier and Beach:  Parking sucks.  It smells like fish.  There's not much do on the actual pier.  The beach is nice.  And I guess that's about it.

Malibu:  We ate at a nice restaurant right on the water and that was fun, but it was really windy at the beach so that didn't make it very enjoyable.

The Getty Center:  Another free thing to do in LA.  Well, the museum is free, but parking is like $10 or something.  Pretty cool museum, if you're into museums, and a stunning building and location.  I'm not much into museums, but it's cool to see that stuff at least once. 

The Groundlings:  This was great!!  Tickets are pretty cheap and the show is hilarious.  We even had a guest star in our show - Groundlings alum Mindy Sterling (Frau Farbissina in Austin Powers movies).  She was hilarious!  Anyway don't miss this one!

Several Theatres: The Falcon, The Colony, Glendale Centre Theatre, A Noise Within, Luna Playhouse...all pretty good shows! 

Disneyland: Ok, so I really, really like Disneyland (and Disney world for that matter) and this trip didn't disappoint.  If you are gonna go, especially from the Valley, go early on Sunday mornings.  We shot on down there within 30 minutes on a route that takes at least 2 hours any other day of the week.  Nearly $100 each for Disneyland and California Adventure, but I think it's worth it.  We filled our day riding rides and only had one ride where we waited more than 20 minutes.  It was great!

The Grilled Cheese Truck:  Some people may scoff at this as an attraction or LA hot spot, but it is...for us anyway!  This gourmet food truck travels around to a new destination everyday and serves up the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever!  Mmmmmm....I had a brie with smoked turkey, pears and honey and it was fabulous! You can follow them on twitter to see where they are grilling on a particular day, so if ever they are in your neighborhood, be sure to go!!


And...I guess that's it so far.  We still have a lot to see and do, like:

• Mulholland Drive
• San Diego
• Knotts Berry Farm
• Medieval Times
• Paramount Studios Tour
• LA Zoo
• Six Flags
• La Brea Tarpits
• And about 6 billion other things...

Mish Mash: a Quick Recap of April Events

So I really didn't post much in April and hey look, now it's already May 7th.  April was kind of a weird month for me.  A lot happened and very little happened.  Very little happened in the way of auditioning and finding employment - at least for the first part of the month.  A lot happened in way of life changes and traveling though.  Here's a recap:

April 1-April 7: Did absolutely nothing but search for jobs and auditions all day, everyday.

April 8-April 12: Trip home to Denver!!  Evan's family VERY generously flew us out to celebrate Evan's sister's birthday.  We were only there for 4 days and we used every second we were there to visit family and catch up.  It was extremely busy, but awesome and definitely much needed.  I was so sad to have to come back to CA and so didn't want to leave.

April 15: My dear friend Brittney came out to Burbank to visit a school and we got to have lunch.  I LOVED being able to spend that time with her, although it was rather brief.  It was really great to have a friend out here!

April 16: My grandma passed away - 1 day after her 88th birthday after a long battle with Alzheimer's.  This prompted an immediate trip home to CO the next day.

April 17-April 21: Flew home in order to drive out to Kansas (6.5 hours) the very next day.  It was lovely to see family again even though it wasn't under very pleasant circumstances.  There was a rosary, funeral and burial service for my grandma which were all full of tears and great memories.  My grandma was a truly classy and refined woman who had devout faith and endless love and support for her family.  Unfortunately, my grandma was stripped away from us several years ago by trauma-induced Alzheimer's.  As awful as this may sound, I had been slowly saying good-bye to her over the past few years which made her actual funeral a fraction easier to handle.  She is now at rest beside my grandpa and I know those two are whooping it up in heaven - eating ice cream cones, my grandma's awesome fried chicken and still trying to solve those pesky Wheel of Fortune puzzles.  :)  We drove back home to CO on Wednesday.

April 22-23: Still in Colorado because my brother and his wife were expecting their 2nd baby!!  Funny the way life works out.  I wasn't going to be able to be present for his birth, but because I was already there for the funeral, I could now see my brand new nephew.  Landon Riley was born on April 23rd via c-section and was small, but healthy.  He was born with a full head of hair just like his brother and even seems to have the exact same calm temperament.  I think they may have had twins 5 years apart.  :) I only got to see Landon for a few minutes before leaving to catch my flight back to CA.  Can't wait to see him again when we visit in June.



April 24-27: Not...a lot....going....on.

April 28: Finally, FINALLY my first real audition!!!!!!!  Nearly 6 months in and I had an audition for a TLC show called "Born on a Bad Day."  It's a reality/re inaction show about real women who gave birth in crazy situations.  I was called in to audition because I kinda looked like the real person in the scenario they were recreating.  I was given a scene that I had to improv dialogue to.  It was pretty fun and easy and of course made me crave for more auditions.  Nothing came of this audition, but I was happy to be given the opportunity to try.

And now here we are, already in May.  Oy, how time flies.  Still looking for a job that doesn't make me miserable and still trying to get more auditions.  It's a never ending cycle.  Oh and it's starting to get pretty hot here.  We're trying to be strong and not turn on our AC yet, but it's just a short matter of time before we give in to refrigerated air. 

On a different note entirely, many of you know that an old friend of mine is in critical condition in Colorado.  He suffered a brain aneurysm and has been in a medically induced coma for a few days.  I plan to dedicate another blog post to my fun and quirky memories of him once he fully recovers and is able to re-live those memories with me.  Keep fighting, Jason!  I know you are gonna pull through and become stronger than ever!!