Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: 3 Weeks Down, 6.5 to Go

So, here I am at the beginning of the 4th week of rehearsals for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Up to this point, we have been primarily practicing music and last week introduced a bit of dance. The next two weeks will be all choreography with a few music rehearsals for principles tossed in. Then, it’s finally time to get down to the blocking and acting portion of the show. I’ve kinda been in denial that I actually have to memorize lines. Isn’t singing and dancing enough? No, apparently audiences want plot and character development too. Jerks.

The music in this show is exciting, but it is super high and complex. The poor baritones and tenors are hanging out in the rafters with the sopranos and most of the leads’ songs  span three octaves and contain at least one key change. Oh and let’s not forget about the thousands of tongue-twisting lyrics, plus the myriad of ohs, ahs, ba das, titty tit tits (yeah, you heard me) that the ensemble sings in every song. It all comes together to make an awesome show, but it is difficult stuff, especially for this trying-to-fake-my-way-through musician.

So it’s a little hard to tell you about the music and not have you hear some of it. So, go here and you will see a music player on the right hand of the screen. This will play a short sample from each song of the show. Hopefully, hearing some of the music will start to make you as excited about this show as I am! It’s gonna be pretty spectacular, so you should go ahead and buy tickets right now.

One Dirty Rotten Audition

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Speaking of random Sound of Music lyrics, SOM was the last musical I did where I had a substantial singing role – the role of Maria. That was my senior year of high school, exactly 10 years ago this month. Since then, I’ve only done 1 musical (Grease, Frenchy) and didn’t have any solos or anything real complicated to perform. I have only done straight comedies and dramas since then. I haven’t even auditioned for a musical since Grease in 2006.


Several years ago, I was streaming the show tunes channel on some internet radio station at work (yes, I’m a nerd who totally listens to show tunes all the time). The song, “Here I Am,” from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels came on and I instantly loved it. At the time, I knew nothing about the musical, I just happened to like the tune. I made Evan download it to his ipod so I could sing along with it from time to time.

Last year or so, when Longmont Theatre Company announced their new season, I noticed that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was on the list and thought, “Hey! That’s the musical with that one song I like.” This is the musical version of the 1988 movie starring Steve Martin and Michael Caine. DRS premiered on Broadway in 2005 and it may very well be the first time it has been performed by a non-professional theatre in the Denver/Boulder region. I’m totally guessing at that, but I don’t think I’ve seen anyone performing that around town in recent years. I was planning on auditioning for it for some time because, after some research, I determined that the show sounded really fun. Needless to say, I sang “Here I Am” far too much in the months leading up to auditions. The song is sung by the female lead of the show, Christine Colgate.

Fast forward to two weekends ago, when I actually auditioned for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I prepared “What You Want” from Legally Blonde the Musical. (Side note: If you haven’t seen this musical, buy a ticket to the Arvada Center’s production this summer. Legally Blonde is a giant, pink, glittery ball of fun!) I know this song inside and out because I have been singing along to the CD for years now. I practiced a lot and thought I was aptly prepared for my audition…if it wasn’t for those pesky things called nerves. Singing makes me INCREDIBLY nervous. I love to sing, but I am acutely aware that I am not the greatest singer and I know that my nerves always have embarrassing effects on my vocal chords.

So there I was in a (freaking freezing) room ready to audition. A few people go before me and they are all outstanding! I finally muster up the courage, hand the music to the musical director, slate (give my name and title of the song, for you non-actor folks)…and start to sing. Ugh, here come the nerves in full force! I rush my tempo, can’t decide if I should be singing in chest voice or head voice, my voice cracks and I’m pretty sure I go out of tune on the whole last measure. But, the one good thing I can say about my audition is that I barreled my way through. I didn’t stop or get completely screwed up, and that’s saying a lot for me!

I take a seat and watch everybody else do their audition. I’m not exaggerating when I say that every single person who auditioned was PHENOMENAL. I truly enjoyed listening to them all and thought to myself, “Gee, I hope I’m somehow good enough to make it into the chorus because this show is gonna rock if all these people are in it.” After the singing was over, we got to do some dancing and that was a lot of fun. I was surprised at how well I could pick up the steps seeing as how it has been years since I’ve done any dancing on stage as well.

By some miracle of miracles, I get called back. The evening between auditions and callbacks is spent practicing songs for callbacks for hours. I’m excited for callbacks, but also very nervous again. At least with callbacks, you get to do some reading and if there is one thing I can actually do in this audition, it is act! We do the singing first. I do much better at callbacks than I did at auditions and I finally tell myself to get with the program, stop being nervous, and sing these songs loud and proud. For the most part I do. The songs are all high and belty so it can be a bit taxing, but I sang my heart out. Then we did some reading, which was, of course, my favorite part and something I’m not at all nervous to do. The music in this show is so stinking good, that I was really looking forward to being in the ensemble. The director also mentioned that the each ensemble member will play like 10 parts, so how cool would that be?

Callbacks were over and now comes the waiting. Waiting: The absolute worst word in an actor’s vocabulary. The rest of Sunday goes by without a word. Monday drags on without a peep. Then it is Tuesday…nothing until about 7:30pm.

The phone, that magical bringer or intense joy or grief, rings and the number is unknown. I know this is it and I’m dying to find out whether or not I made it into the ensemble. I pick up and it’s the show’s producer, “… we’d like to offer you the part of Christine.” I don’t remember clearly what my response was exactly, but I think it was something along the lines of, “Holy crap! Christine? ME?! Are you kidding?!” At this point, I am over-the-moon ecstatic and pants-crapping terrified at the same time. I am so overjoyed to be playing this part and completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I’ll have to do to prepare the role.

Time to dust off those vocal chords, stretch out the jazz hands, and get ready to step into the spotlight. Luckily, I don’t have to do it alone. My lovely husband, Ev-face, will be playing numerous roles in the ensemble and will undoubtedly steal every scene he is in. Rehearsals start this week and away we go! Mark your calendars now for May 11-26 and plan to come see this fabulous show!